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FYI we’re getting slammed with fan mail right now, but we’ve always got time for a chat. Especially if it’s about our cocks.

Let’s get weird.

If your WTF can’t wait, we’ve revealed some mysteries of the universe on our SHIPPING, RETURNS & EXCHANGES and FAQs pages. 

If we’ve pissed you off somehow, that’s probably one of the centaurs’ fault. Write us an angry email at

We’ll reply sooner if you use all caps and hit the keys really hard, so go nuts. Bonus points for aggressive gifs. 

Post all dick picks to:
Unicorn Cocks
PO Box 313